1. Make sure that you and any partner(s) really want to try anal and are ready for it.
So you really want to try anal sex? Good for you, anal sex is a perfectly normal human desire, a great deal of adults have tried it far, more than you might think. I have no doubt that even more people have thought about it but won’t admit it. You shouldn’t feel any shame at all in wanting to try it too.
However in the same way that some people don’t like oral sex and some people think it’s the best thing ever you should never assume that anal sex is always an option, some people just won’t be into it.
Do not allow a partner to bully you into trying anal sex and never put pressure on your partner to try anal sex. Any kind of sex without consent is wrong and will have dire perhaps unforeseen consequences for all parties. In some parts of the world it is forbidden. Do not break the law unless everyone involved is willing to suffer the consequences if you get caught.
If you want to try anal sex as an alternative to vaginal sex for cultural or religious reasons then do your research. Search your heart and decide if you truly find it acceptable for you and your partner. You only get one first time, make sure it’s a special enjoyable experience for everyone involved you might miss out on a world of joy if you only get to try it once because your first time was a bad experience for you or someone else.
2. Don’t expect to go from anal virgin to ass master over night.
Having anal sex for the first time is not the same as being a porn star or anyone who has anal sex for a living. The anus and rectum are a series of ring shape muscles, anyone can fit something huge up there with no lubricant but it takes time to train the body first. It is no different than a new contortionist learning to do the splits if you try and do it without training first you will get injured.
If you’ve never ever had anything stimulate the inside of your anus before then it’s vital that you start slow if you try it. You will need lubricant to find anal penetration comfortable and enjoyable at least to begin with until your body gets used to it. If your partner is well endowed or you want to be penetrated with something quite large it will take time (weeks months or even years) for you to learn how to relax and stretch your sphincter muscles that much.
Pain is there for a reason, even if you find pain pleasurable it is important to remember that anal muscles are very similar to vaginal muscles. The key difference is that the anus does not produce a natural lubricant when aroused. It is possible to enjoy anal sex with or without pain. If you choose to make it painful then you still need to start gentle and even more care should be made to ensure that the sensitive tissues are not damaged.
Be patient, you might not be able to fulfill your fantasy right away first time. If you had any problems don’t feel disheartened, keep trying as many times as you want to, learn from your mistakes and take time to enjoy it.
3. Preparation is Vital
To begin with anal sex shouldn’t just be a quickie, take time to prepare yourself mentally and physically. Do you have a partner that might get carried away and needs some boundaries to be set? Find somewhere comfortable that will grant you a degree of privacy for some time.
The rectum passes fecal matter through the anus during dedication. You will need to empty your bowels and clean your anus before any kind of anal penetration. No matter how well you prepare there is still a small chance that things could get a little messy. Make sure that your personal hygiene is at a good standard and that you have the means to clean up afterwards.
The anus can harbor a number of diseases which can be spread easily if a high degree of personal hygiene is not maintained. You will need lubricant to prevent discomfort or possibly even tissue damage if you are a beginner trying to enjoy anal penetration for the first few times. A little spit or cum won’t do if you want the first time penetrating the anus to be comfortable.
If you have never been penetrated anally before and wish to try it, consider stimulating the anus externally first, gently massaging it then perhaps slowly working a finger inside. Oral stimulation is one of the best ways to learn how to relax. If you want your anus to be stimulated orally make sure to wash it first.
Always start small and work your way up, want to try being penetrated by a man? Consider starting with lots of lubricant and a finger or a small soft object that is safe to use like a beginners butt plug or an anal probe first.
4. Foreplay and mood are just as important if not even more important than almost any other kind of sex.
No matter how good you and your partner are in the bedroom if you are not in the right state of mind then it won’t be enjoyable. The anus is close enough to the genitals that any foreplay that arouses the participant’s genitals will also help to relax the anus and get the receiver in the right state of mind.
Whilst the rectum does produce it’s own lubricating mucus, the anus does not and the rectum may tear if it is not relaxed during penetration. Any kind of anal stimulation including oral stimulation (rimming) will not be enjoyable if the receiver is not fully aroused. Anal sex is much like vaginal sex, if you go in dry without any foreplay it might become pleasurable once you relax and get into it but it won’t be pleasurable at all to begin with.
If you’re not in the mood, don’t feel prepared or don’t have the time or the privacy to take it slow it is better to be patient and try another time when conditions are more appropriate for getting intimate. Anal sex is not ideal for quick heat of the moment sessions to begin with but can get very passionate, intimate and pleasurable once you are more experienced.
5. Communication is key, start slow.
Listen you your body and your partner(s) body. Communication is key, if you feel any resistance slow down and be more gentle. If you feel ready for more tell your partner or give yourself more but make sure you take your time to begin with.
Once you get into it you can stop holding back and start to enjoy it. If you feel any unwanted pain or discomfort slow down or tell your partner to be more gentle or stop. If the experience is too intense or you want to stop then stop and try again later if you want to.
If you feel any pain or discomfort afterwards always listen to your body and take time to recover before trying again. The more you listen to your body, the sooner you will learn how to control it and the more enjoyable it will be. If you do feel any pain or discomfort the more you allow yourself to recover the sooner you will find it more pleasurable. Anal sex should get better and better the more experienced you become. The more you listen to your body and/ or partner the more enjoyable it will become.
Conclusion
Anal sex is one of the most pleasurable and intimate things a person can do. Millions of people enjoy anal sex enough to keep trying it again and again. You may need a little experience before you get the most out of it and don’t be afraid to stop, take a break and try another time if you’re not feeling into it.
For me anal sex is one the most intimate things that can be done and I have no doubt that many other people feel the same. It is impossible for a couple (without any medical conditions) to conceive through anal sex. Whilst that means that there is no risk of pregnancy which is a life long commitment you are still trusting each other or yourself with the most vulnerable and private part of the body so weather you are a beginner or a pro, trust, patience, preparation and communication are key.
Further reading
If you’re still not sure or are really intrigued and would like to know more about how and why people have anal sex then find out more. I have written a book all about anal sex based on ten years of careful research which dispels some of the myths surrounding anal sex, discusses anal sex from a cultural, historical and ethical stand point as well as a how to guide with detailed step by step guides for all things anal.
You don’t have to take my word for it, don’t be afraid to do your own research but be aware that there is a lot of myths and speculation about anal sex. Try to be conscious of what sources you use for your information, even doctors have been known to speculate rather than publish proven facts. The best sources are people who have tried anal sex themselves. It won’t make you incontinent and it shouldn’t hurt (unless you want it to). There is no shame in being curious.
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