About this article
This article is exclusively about handjobs, however don’t forget that a handjob can be used in conjunction with other activities such as alternating between a handjob and fellatio or while stimulating other parts of the body at the same time.
It’s not just women that are unique, all men are different individuals too. Whilst it’s different strokes for different folks there are some basic techniques you can try to see which one(s) works best on your partner. I am a man who prefers women but of course whilst men tend to have larger hands it’s exactly the same if you’re a male or anyone else giving a hand job. I know how to please a man because I am a man.
A hand job can be a very empowering experience for the giving party, the receiving party is subject to your every whim while you have them in your hands. If you tease them enough you can make them say or do anything you want. It can also be an act of submission, you’re giving them a favour, pleasuring them. It all depends on the vibe you create with each other.
Getting to grips
The penis is extremely sensitive to touch but don’t worry, it’s not made of fragile glass. A man can be quite vigorous and get rather rough during sex without any ill effect on his body what so ever. The goal is to simulate an aroused vagina or relaxed anus with your hands.
If you have a penis just grip your partners as tightly as you would like yours to be held. If you’ve never experienced male masturbation then it is best to think of the head of the penis as a giant clitoris and the shaft like an inverted vagina, it should be gripped no tighter than a vagina should be stretched and it should be rubbed no harder than a clitoris should be rubbed without forgetting that these are the sensations that can make sex feel so good.
A little extra help
Don’t be afraid to use saliva as lubricant or better still lubricant! Water based lubricants work best for handjobs but remember that depending on where it is stored the bottle will most likely be at room temperature and will feel cold. If you really want to go all out you can place the bottle in warm water to provide a warm pleasant sensation when applying it.
Lubricant, saliva or even lots of pre-cum make for a much more pleasant sensation as it allows the hand to move over the penis and stimulate it rather than rub the skin which is densely packed with sensitive nerve endings. If your grip is too tight, your hands are very dry or you rub too hard you may cause too much friction which will feel unpleasant after a while.
It is best to use water based lubricants made for vaginal or oral sex rather than a more viscous lubricant better suited to anal sex but anal lube will work fine as well. If you use a water based lubricant it may start to dry out and get a little tacky as it gets spread thin and starts to dry out. Spitting on your hand or his joystick will re-activate the lubricant without breaking the flow by having to stop and apply more lube which might also be cold.
An erection is dependant on the flow of warm blood to the penis. This means that temperature can be used to tease and stimulate the penis. The femoral arteries are located in the upper inner thigh on each leg and provide warm blood to the legs. This provides a rather convenient source of warmth right next to the male genitals. If you have cold hands it may be worth considering warming them up by rubbing the inner thighs as foreplay.
Top techniques
The most common way to give someone a handjob is to wrap the hand around the penis and rub it all the way up and down like polishing a pipe. Going faster will make the sensation more intense and will speed up the process, going slower allows them to catch their breath and recover, teasing them so you can bring them to the edge again.
You can even add a twist at the end by rotating the wrist like revving a motorbike or twisting a door knob while the hand is at the top of the penis. This will stimulate the much more sensitive head of the penis and you can alternate between rubbing the shaft and twizzling around the knob end.
The most effective way to pleasure a man with your hands is to focus where the penis is most sensitive. The glans (knob end) there are as many nerve endings in the head of the penis as there are in the clitoris only they are more spread out due to the larger size of the glans compared to the clitoris. By focusing on the glans, only rubbing the shaft up and down in order to deliberately prolong the pleasure you can create a more pleasurable experience.
You can also change the angle by ninety degrees, imagine you are pouring a drink from a bottle. Then instead of pouring a drink imagine you are polishing an apple, twisting at the arm rotating the radius and ulna rather than bending at the wrist. Applying a rotating motion to the penis like stroking a hamster can also produce an intense and pleasurable sensation.
By rippling the fingers over the bell end or gently massaging it like polishing a bed knob you focus all the stimulation on the most sensitive part of the penis.
There countless ways to pleasure a man with your hands but they all boil down to intensity or tempo and stimulation. Gently grasping or massaging the testicles during a handjob may also help to enhance the sensation.
Using a little elbow grease
There are two approaches to making someone climax from a handjob, slow and steady or intense and you can also start slow and build up in intensity. You could even start intense and get slower and slower, getting him excited and then teasing him as you get slower and slower. If you are not confident at giving hand jobs it is best to start slow and steady and work up to intense during the session, paying attention to their body so you can see how they react and fine tune things.
Have fun with it and play with his joystick! Communication is key but it is very important to know that it doesn’t necessarily have to be verbal. Words of encouragement or even sighs of relief are extremely helpful for the person giving the handjob but that they must also remember that their partner might not be able to speak.
If there are restrictions for example the handjob is being carried out discretely in a public place or where you do not want to be heard then you will need to look for physical cues or just go for it and see what happens. Also if you’re doing a really good job then they may not be able to speak because you take their breath away!
If you are going for a slow, steady sensual approach it will take longer but it is much easier to give your partner a stronger orgasm as the climax has much more time to build up. If you go for more intense stimulation you will induce a powerful orgasm but it may be more challenging for a beginner as you may experience fatigue during the process.
What to look for
Verbal and physical signs aren’t that much different than those you would look for when pleasuring an individual with female sex organs. If you see physical signs then you are pleasuring your partner and you can either keep it up or keep experimenting and see if you can find a pace or a technique that produces an even better reaction.
You can observe extraordinary breathing by looking at the chest or listening to your partners breathing to see if it is deeper or shallower and quicker than usual. Are they gasping? Are their pupils dilated, do they have a sensual or sultry look on their face? The best sign is a squirming or grinding of the hips as although it can be faked it is usually an involuntary response to stimulation which will sooner or later end with an orgasm.
An extra hand
If you use two hands at once you are doubling the surface area that touches the penis which means double the sensation. You can use the same techniques as above only with both hands to increase the surface area that stimulates the penis or you can keep the bottom hand in place while the top hand massages the far more sensitive glans end of the penis almost as if you’re trying to very gently stretch it out.
You can also apply a twisting action like wringing out a wet cloth but with a more gentle grip that will create another sensation. Just remember you’re pleasuring him not giving him a Chinese burn! I can’t think of a good analogy off the top of my head but picture this:
Imagine you have an ice cream that has some sprinkles on it that you don’t like so you wrap your fingers around it and pull them off with a twisting motion like you’re polishing a pipe or unscrewing a bottle. You want to grip the ice cream enough for you hand to brush sprinkles off but not so hard that the rest of the ice cream is ruined.
Play with your food
The more you tease and the longer you make it last, the more intense and pleasurable it will be when they finally do cum. However, a key point to note is that if you go at it too hard you may cause them to become tense down below. Pace yourself. If you go all out and then keep stopping due to fatigue you will have to start building their climax up again from scratch as you become more and more fatigued. However if you can go hard and fast consistently it will make them cum quite hard.
For the most pleasurable experience you need to tease the most. Start slow and gradually rub harder and faster until you feel that they are close to cumming. If they are close to cumming slow right down almost grinding to a halt and start over again. Repeat as many times as you like until they cum or when you are ready you can finish them off by rubbing vigorously and consistently.
Ejaculation can differ from person to person. Some people oooze cum, some people squirt it out like a fountain. The volume will differ from person to person and will depend on various other factors. There are various methods of increasing the volume and flow or even denying your partner the pleasure of cumming or having an orgasm however they are subjects for other writings.
I hope you enjoyed reading this and found it useful. Remember to have fun with it, treat it like a game, consider it a form of massage and never treat it like a chore (unless you both want to) and don’t be afraid to experiment and try a different grip or method.
Feel free to get in touch if you want to know more tips and tricks, swap notes or chat.
