Sex should always be about mutual gratification. When it comes to sex, these days sadly a lot of men think it is over the moment they cum, regardless of weather their partner is satisfied or not. More over a lot of men are judged on their performance by women who put little to no effort in themselves.
Women who put more effort in tend to be less concerned with how well endowed an man is. Women often fake orgasms which can fool men into being complacent and that they don’t need to improve. There are now more and more cases of men complaining that their partners can’t make them cum and that they no longer enjoy sex.
The pressure tends to be put on the man to perform, but what if you’re a woman who gets off on pleasuring a man?
This article is for women on how to please your man written by a man. In this case we will focus on how to satisfy a man when you’re on top during vaginal sex although the same rules apply to anal sex when you’re on top. I may write more articles on how to please men with other positions/ activities if this one proves successful.
I always say that a gentleman always comes second but what do you get out of making sure he cums first from time to time?
Having the ability to give a man deep pleasure can make a woman feel empowered. If your man works hard to keep you satisfied and sex is all about you then it’s nice to give him a reward every now and then, he will also feel more appreciated and will be more likely to reciprocate.
One of the biggest reasons to make an effort to pleasure a man is the sense of power that can be gained from it. I often speak to women who really enjoy giving fellatio. I always used to wonder why as it doesn't look very pleasant for the giver. During fellatio the giver puts all the effort in and may not receive any physical stimulation at all.
As it happens women that do enjoy giving oral sex tend to enjoy it for exactly the same reasons that men such as myself really enjoy giving cunnilingus. Some people like the taste, I also love the smell of a clean juicy pussy. But most important of all is the sense of power you gain when your partner looses control of their body.
When your partner starts to moan and squirm uncontrollably you are the one in control even if your partner grabs hold of your head and holds you down between their legs you’re the one blowing their mind and you decide weather to stop, prolong, carry on or intensify their experience at any time.
Whilst oral sex is the best example the same applies to vaginal sex. The easiest way for a woman to blow a man’s mind is for her to ride him in the cowgirl position facing towards him. This method gives the woman more control which means that she can carry on pleasuring him even when he looses control of his body.
The best part about blowing a man’s mind with your pussy when you’re on top is that the more pleasurable it is for you the more pleasurable it will be for him. As you’re on top if you don’t cum at the same time you can still get more out of him even after he cums by following through and continuing to ride him.
Down to business
The most common mistake that men make when the woman is on top is that they don’t do any of the work, much like some women assume when the man is on top. If you just lay there doing nothing then you and you’re partner won’ get as much out of it as you will if you both put the effort in.
Whilst it gets more difficult as the climax builds up and fatigue sets in, if a man thrusts with his pelvis while his partner is on top both parties will find it much more pleasurable. When it comes to being on top you will probably find that the most common misconception is that it should be an up and down bouncing movement.
For both parties the most pleasurable way to ride a man is actually to move back and fourth not up and down, rolling/ rocking the hips along the shaft which points horizontally when laying down. This will also cause the clitoris to rub firmly against the man’s body.
If the rider moves up and down or leans back they will bend the penis downwards which will cut off circulation slightly and delay the contractions required for the male orgasm also clitoris will receive no stimulation unless it’s done by hand .
The experience can be enhanced further with a method known as the Bangkok kiss. This is a process used by women who’s profession is pleasure men and have made it into an art form. With each backward stroke the woman tightens her pelvic floor muscles making her vagina or anus feel tighter and then relaxes on the forward stroke prolonging the time she can remain clenched before fatigue sets and allowing more blood flow to the penis.
Practice makes perfect
The best way to improve your riding technique is to watch how he responds to your movements. If you make any adjustments to your pace, movements or position try to keep them going for at least five seconds. Listen to his voice and his breathing and look at his face to see how he reacts to the change so you can see if he likes it. Does he wrap his hands around your hips? Does he squeeze your buttocks? Does his grip tighten?
Also encourage him to tell you what works for him but don’t be surprised if he can’t speak when you’re taking his breath away. Never fake an orgasm, if you do your partner will assume that they know how to make you have an orgasm, they won’t learn anything and neither of you will get anything out of it.
It’s also important to remember that even when you’re on top the man can still put effort in that will make things much better for you. While a man still has control over his body he can thrust his hips up towards your belly button allowing for deeper penetration at a more pleasurable angle. Male hip thrusts will also cause a man’s pubis (the part of the pelvis above the genitals) to rub harder against the clitoris.
If you are a woman the best way to practice on your own is to masturbate by riding a pillow. The more your clitoris rubs against the pillow the more pleasurable you will find it. If you apply the same technique while your partner is inside you you will find that the better it feels for you the more he will enjoy it too because as humans we have evolved in a way that we should both cum at the same time.
There are many ways to practice the Bangkok kiss and even if you don’t use this technique kegal (pelvic floor) exercises will definitely improve your talents in the bedroom, improve bladder control and help your anus to relax and contract when you want it to. These exercises also help to tone the anus and will improve anal sex.
Kegal exercises are also recommended for those who enjoy anal sex and for men who wish to last longer in bed as it improves a man’s ability to hold back. Kegal exercises tone the walls of the vagina making them more elastic making it feel tighter whilst also able to relax more to accommodate larger entities.
Wearing high heals causes the toes to point downwards while walking which engages the muscles on the back of the leg more all the way up to the buttocks and between the legs. It is a very mild method and is the least effective method but it can make a difference over time.
Kegal toning exercises. This is the most discrete method, it can be done anywhere without anyone noticing and is the method used by professionals to train their bodies for the perfect Bangkok kiss. For improving the ability to hold back or tone the vagina lightly tense your genitals inward then clench harder as if trying to pull them upwards then relax. As with any exercise the more reps you do the more toned you will become but the more fatigued you will be so don’t exercise right before sex.
There are also tools to help the pelvic floor muscles to become even stronger. Men can hang weights from the base of the penis when doing kegal exercises or the tip of the penis when erect and try to lift them. Women can insert special weights designed to go into the vagina and clench around them. There are two types of weight, Ben Wa balls which are spherical in shape or Yoni Eggs which are egg shape.
Both Ben Wa balls and Yoni eggs can be used anally or vaginally and should always be used with a draw cord attached for safe removal afterwards even if tense or fatigued. Additional weight can also be attached to the draw cord for greater strength. Kegal exercises with Ben Wa balls or Yoni eggs is very discrete but also can be quite pleasurable and is recommended for women who need to strengthen pelvic floor muscles after child birth or wish to tighten their holes or become more elastic.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that sex should always be mutually beneficial, if you and your partner can’t quite reach mutual satisfaction just yet then you should take it in turns to focus on each other, learn about each other’s bodies and get used to them. Every one is different and it it takes time and humility to learn everything about your partner’s body and what works best for them.
Thanks for reading
Lionel
